Dress Shorts Retrospective: At 1800 hours, when I'd forsaken any hope that someone would notice that I had a new outfit on yesterday--forget noticing that I'd taken the Dress Shorts risk--the Big Boss came out of his office, exchanged words with some other bosses in the hallway about a recent unfavorable AP article, turned to me and said, "New outfit. I like it." I gushed. "Thanks!"
"That is a new outfit, right? It's nice."
This, of course, was no time for the demonstrative Flapper dance, which had been received flatly an hour before by the Boss's special assistant, who dimly noted that he hadn't realized I was wearing shorts as I yanked the fabric taut across my lap area and performed a truncated jiggy two-step.
The point is, I'll be wearing the Dress Shorts at least twice a week from now on.
Showing posts with label revolution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label revolution. Show all posts
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wednesday: Liveblogging a Revolution, finale
1700: My avant garde office wear has obviously impressed everybody. They didn't have to say it out loud. Let's go get a beer.
Wednesday: Liveblogging a Revolution cont.
1130: In the day’s first visit to the restroom, a flaw in Dress Shorts paradise is revealed.
Where the grand traditions of procrastination, laziness, and delayed gratification meet, there is my restroom protocol. (I like to wait until I’m one second away from peeing on myself before I go to the restroom. When it comes to necessary tasks--taxes, peeing, eating lunch--I wait until I absolutely have to do them. This explains why I don’t shower most weekends.)
I hustled to a stall, and a zipper and hook-eye closure disrupted the entire pee routine. For a nanosecond, I forgot about the strip of fabric that defines today’s office fashion revolution and almost subjected Nicole Miller’s genius to a paper toilet seat cover.
It’s a new world I’ve thrust myself into, and concessions must be made.
Where the grand traditions of procrastination, laziness, and delayed gratification meet, there is my restroom protocol. (I like to wait until I’m one second away from peeing on myself before I go to the restroom. When it comes to necessary tasks--taxes, peeing, eating lunch--I wait until I absolutely have to do them. This explains why I don’t shower most weekends.)
I hustled to a stall, and a zipper and hook-eye closure disrupted the entire pee routine. For a nanosecond, I forgot about the strip of fabric that defines today’s office fashion revolution and almost subjected Nicole Miller’s genius to a paper toilet seat cover.
It’s a new world I’ve thrust myself into, and concessions must be made.
Wednesday: Liveblogging a Revolution
People have said it couldn't be done. They've said it shouldn't be done.
In a town terrorized by Ann Taylor Loft suits, in a town that endures sneakers with pantyhose, in a town where aspirational political staffers and career bureaucrats silence the impulses that lift the human experience above the the level of our brutish forebears--only for the promise of a clear background check--I have done it.
I've worn shorts to work. Dress shorts.
This shot, from style.com's coverage of Nicole Miller's spring collection, demonstrates the genius of the Dress Short: with the movement of the silk blend fabric, the all-over pleats, and the high waist, this garment can pass as a skirt from the front. Not that it wants to! It does a skirt's duty in the workplace, and provides a shorts' coverage when I start doing the Prohibition-era flapper dance at the receptionist's desk.
In a town terrorized by Ann Taylor Loft suits, in a town that endures sneakers with pantyhose, in a town where aspirational political staffers and career bureaucrats silence the impulses that lift the human experience above the the level of our brutish forebears--only for the promise of a clear background check--I have done it.
I've worn shorts to work. Dress shorts.
This shot, from style.com's coverage of Nicole Miller's spring collection, demonstrates the genius of the Dress Short: with the movement of the silk blend fabric, the all-over pleats, and the high waist, this garment can pass as a skirt from the front. Not that it wants to! It does a skirt's duty in the workplace, and provides a shorts' coverage when I start doing the Prohibition-era flapper dance at the receptionist's desk. Liveblogging of the Dress Shorts experience, Day 1, to continue throughout the day.
0921: Neither my boss nor the speechwriter have noticed that I'm wearing shorts.
0955: The two other girls my age in the office genuinely like the dress shorts. I just did the flapper dance for them to demonstrate the freedom of movement I have today. I think the Big Boss saw me.
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